Cultivating Thankfulness

November 22 will be Thanksgiving Day this year and it is celebrated within the United States as a National holiday annually on the fourth Thursday in November. 

It incorporates both religious and secular aspects - being both a harvest festival and a festival of family. 

The origins of Thanksgiving Day are believed to lie in a first harvest celebration held in Plymouth, Massachusetts in 1621.

Thanksgiving Day in the USA is celebrated by a holiday; it is in remembrance of the Pilgrims who came to the USA and who celebrated, in thanksgiving, their first harvests back in 1621.

They met with hardships in their first winter but celebrated with a ceremony of Thanksgiving for a successful harvest with plenty of food to see them through the next winter. Today, Thanksgiving, right from those early days, remains a holiday.

•  it’s about food that was provided; 
• it’s about their faith
• their gratitude
• thankfulness to God.

We all really know what it is to be thankful - we give thanks for the good things we receive. But scientists say today, that really counting your blessings all year round for good health and that includes your mental health – that it actually boosts your own chances of success.

The Harvard Medical Schools defines thankfulness as an “appreciation of things that are valuable or meaningful to you”.

When we take time to appreciate things we have received, whether they are intangible or tangible, it makes our emotions become more positive. We relish the good times and it improves our health, it helps us to deal with adversity when it comes and it builds strong relationships; all very crucial in our relationships at home and in the workplace.

In fact, studies have shown that participants participating in the ‘benefits of positive emotions’, revealed that those who did express gratitude and thankfulness showed an increase in "life satisfaction" in the ensuing days.

It is not only scientists who proclaim about the benefits of being thankful. Some very successful business minds and celebrities have added their confirmations to how important it is to live a life filled with gratitude. Some people whom you can look up are Mark Zuckerberg, Oprah Winfrey, and Warren Buffet. 

In fact, Warren Buffet often mentioned his gratefulness about achieving his high level of success. Once when he was giving a speech to students at the University of Florida in 1998, he told them how lucky he felt to have been born in the place he was born; 

• he felt lucky to have his parents and lucky with many things
• – lucky that he was wired the way he was in the market economy to have had it pay off like crazy as it did for him.
• He sent a note of thanks to his Berkshire-Hathaway shareholders, saying “I'm a lucky guy." He added that he was extremely fortunate to be surrounded by such excellent staff.
•  to have such talented operating managers plus a boardroom of such wise and experienced directors.

Sometimes appreciation or thankfulness seems half-hearted. It comes in as a weak kind of emotion next to its powerful cousins of love, anger, and hate.

You know the songs about love that sometimes want to make you cry, and yet thankfulness has never seemed to make people want to weep into their pillows at night.

Thankfulness for what you have or what someone has done for you is rather underrated. It actually has the ability, however, to make you feel on top of things so that your blood pressure goes down!​

When you lack thankfulness, you can be locked into a never-ending whirlpool of dissatisfaction, always on the lookout for and aware of the things you lack.

Why is that that you don’t appreciate what you have?

Maybe it’s because you weren’t taught how to appreciate stuff because it is a skill; something you learn. You might simply have accumulated too much and now you don’t appreciate it anymore.

For some, owning possessions makes them less grateful than simple pleasures like family gatherings, or chatting with someone they like or watching a movie with someone special. 

Fortunately, thankfulness can be taught and learned. In the last decade, there have been heaps of books and studies around thankfulness.

Those people whose lives are not touched or marked with gratitude; those whose lives are governed by a grievance or sense of entitlement - they are miserable.

All their material wealth, success, or health, is incomplete if not accompanied by a sense of gratitude. 

They are not made whole. In contrast, those who practice gratitude; those whose lives are marked by gratified are made whole.

It was C.S. Lewis who observed that grateful people were emotionally healthy people.

Words of thanks are the inner health being audible.

Practice being grateful every day, not just on Thanksgiving Day! 

Look at some benefits:

• When you give thanks to others, you make them feel good: When you show appreciation to others for the things they do for you, you make them feel good, and you feel good too. Just a simple thank you, which we do not seem to hear of much anymore, goes a long way in helping yourself to develop better friendships. You will find you get along better with your family and colleagues. By making others feel good, you feel good and others feel good around you too!
• Being grateful and thankful builds your confidence: When you are grateful and thankful for the things that happen and come your way, even if it’s as simple as the waves lapping softly on the beach or a beautiful sunset, a bird singing in a tree, it kind of makes you feel good and thankful, filling you with self-esteem.
  Somehow you find yourself in a good place, not needing to compare yourself with others. Being thankful is contagious, and that golden dust of thankfulness gets rubbed onto others!
• Being thankful makes you a positive person – no time for negativity: Those who give thanks often are much more positive people. They view things differently. When your glass is only half full, positive people give thanks that there is the possibility of it becoming full, whilst negative people will turn it away because it is only half full, with no chance of it becoming full. Positive people make positive things happen around them.
• You sleep better when you are thankful because you are more content: When you think about the good things that have come your way, you feel great. Your body relaxes with no tossing backward and forwards because nothing is going your way. It’s a good idea to keep a journal beside your bed at night. At the end of every day, write a list of all of the things you were thankful for that day and see how much better you sleep. Sweet dreams.
• Being thankful just fills you with joy: When you are in a joyful, thankful state, you are more attuned to other people’s feelings too. It produces empathy in you; being in tune with what other people’s point of view is as well. When you are thankful, you get through the tough times because you derive a kind of peace and happiness thinking about the things that make you happy. In this kind of bodily state, your body and mind stay healthy.
• Thankfulness brings contentment: When you practice thankfulness, you increase contentment; leading to more satisfaction with life because you are more joyful, more pleasurable, more enthusiastic – anxiety and depression kind of slink away.
• Thankfulness is good for the brain: The hypothalamus is the part of the brain that regulates functions in our body like our sleep, our temperature, appetite, growth, and metabolism. Studies show that the hypothalamus becomes activated when we are feeling thankful, or we display kindness to others.

• The studies on thankfulness reveal that people can’t function without grace, and that is powerful.
• What is grace? It is sheer kindness and decency; goodwill. As noted above, gratitude and thankfulness are also addictive. Showing acts of kindness and goodwill flood the brain with the chemical known as dopamine. When we receive thanks from others or we give thanks, our brain kind of gives us a natural ‘high’. It feels so good, we do it more, and so it rubs off onto others.
• Pain is decreased: It almost seems impossible to believe that something so simple like saying thanks and giving thanks can actually alleviate pain. But it’s true! There was a study completed once, called Counting Blessings vs. Burdens, completed in 2003, where unwell ailing patients kept a gratitude-journal. 16% of those who participated reported reduced pain symptoms. The patients were also more eager to get down to exercising and were more motivated to recover.
• Being thankful reduces stress: Sleeping better produces relaxation and when we are in a state of gratitude and thankfulness, it is simply physically good for us, meaning that our nervous system and our hearts benefit as well. In 2007, patients suffering from hypertension were asked to count their blessings just once a week. After the week, their results showed a decrease in their blood pressure. That’s not all. The benefits of gratitude make us more resilient when it comes to stress and trauma.
• Increased energy and vitality: Who doesn’t want more energy? Research, again, on gratitude, continues to prove that those who are thankful have naturally higher
  energy levels - they are more relaxed and healthier.

That must mean it lengthens our lifespans, doesn’t it? 

There are many people who can testify to the fact that they have endured much suffering in their life but when they look back, they kind of count it as a gift.

This might sound strange to many people – it’s not that these people wanted the suffering – they hated it and protested about it as loudly as they could.

But nevertheless, they still had to endure it. In retrospect, many have testified how it deepened their inner beings immeasurably. Thing is, the bio-psycho-social-spiritual benefits of thankfulness are simply too many to count.

It is actually a good thing to be aware of the fact that just about all our experiences we encounter come with both negative and positive aspects. Even events that are physically and emotionally painful for us will often consist of psycho-spiritual benefits or blessings.

These can come in the form of growing, learning, and healing. It is often that we need to work hard to find the positive so that we can unearth its wonderful gifts. Make time to invest in the energy to search consciously and closely for those gifts, but you will unearth them.

Believe it, there is always, always something to be thankful for, despite how desperate and negative things around you may seem. The small stuff isn’t important anymore When you are thankful, it can change your perspective on things. It can sweep away all the petty aggravations that you spend so much time on, that “small stuff” that promotes ingratitude, impatience, intolerance, negativity, judgment of others, anger, and resentment.

Thankfulness is the tool to diffuse all the negativity because it increases the feelings of wellbeing. Feelings of wellbeing will prompt you to be ‘aware’ and mindful beyond yourself, connecting you to others in empathy.

Over the past few years, there have been a few scientific studies documented about benefits that come to you when you practice being thankful. They are available to anyone who practices it, even when you are in the middle of adversity.

• What about old people facing death
• What about those who have to deal with Cancer or some other dreaded disease
• What about addictions: Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in life and we all have to learn that we cannot take anything for granted.
• Each and every day is a beautiful breath of life – a gift. What we do with them is our choice that we have to make.

5.1. Increase your connections to other people

When you think positively, by being thankful, you allow your vision to broaden, helping you to form more positive and accurate connections with others; increasing your sense of oneness with the people around you.

This helps to build meaning and purpose into your life – it’s what makes life worth living.

5.2. Reinforce healthy habits

When you are positive and thankful, you are more emotionally positive. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a professor of psychology from the University of North Carolina says that when we change and grow and become better versions of ourselves, we develop the tools to help us to face Life as it comes our way.

5.3. Do positivity exercises

It is not always easy just to focus on the positive and try and move your attention away from the negative stuff. But positivity exercises can help:

• No negative self-talk . Pay attention to ways you engage in negative talk: always blaming yourself, anticipating the worst, seeing things only as bad or good; no middle ground. Approach these in a more positive way. Repeat positive quotes to yourself and stick them on your fridge or computer where you can be reminded of them.
• Keep a gratitude journal . This is not for all, but keeping a journal where you write down all the things that make you feel thankful and appreciative helps you to focus and dwell on the good experiences, like an antidote to the negativity you want to free yourself from such as envy, jealousy, hostility, regret, worry, irritation, etc. Focus on your behaviors during the day and how you engage with other people. It’s a great idea to start a very healthy diet and include mood-boosting foods into your life, as well as starting an exercise routine. All these have positive effects on your life as well as your approach to life, let alone your stress levels.
• Don’t make social comparisons. Don’t focus on what other people have, and what you don’t have. Rather think about the things that have come your way that you can be so thankful about. What makes you so unique and valuable? Practice selfcompassion on yourself, not saying stuff to yourself that you wouldn’t say to other
  people. Don’t forget to include fun and relaxation into your life. Make time for those things or people that make your smile or happy.
• Practice mindfulness, meditation, or prayer to bring balance into your life, to relieve stress and to clear your mind and give you a sense of peace.
• Helping others and volunteering to help others less fortunate than yourself where you can spread positivity is a great way to be appreciative and thankful. It’s because your brain will put you on a natural ‘high’ as described above. When you help animals or people in need, you get away from what is going on in your own head as you connect with others. 

There are many that will argue that when you constantly have to strive to be thankful and positive when you don’t feel that way denies how you really feel, which can lead to you feeling kind of switched off from certain emotions.

But the goal of practicing thankfulness should not be to deny or ignore the fact that sometimes you feel negative, let down, sad, annoyed, disappointed, and irrigated.

One cannot be in control of all circumstances or how things turn out, but you can try your best to learn from them and to find something to be grateful for even when things aren’t perfect

Naturally, everyone’s journey through life will offer different varieties of hardships and challenges. Life, sometimes, can be a great struggle, whether it’s the end of a marriage or relationships, troubles in the family, deadly illnesses, financial problems, and the death of loved ones – things that can and do cripple many.

Showing thankfulness when faced with adversity isn’t easy and it takes gratitude and courage to show it in these times. However, with the showing of gratitude towards these things, there is the opportunity to grow, to learn important life lessons. Learn to make gratitude a ‘way of life’. It just means being grateful each day for your life, in all circumstances.

Thankfulness helps us to stand amazed, thankful just for the sheer wonder of life and nature; the infrastructures that support us. You too can get onto the road of positivity – go on the road where the directions point to thankfulness.

Life is hard, but we can still be thankful to breathe, grateful for the help that comes our way – even when we are going through pain and sorrow. Walk the road of thankfulness with other positive people because they uplift you and make you want to achieve the same results.

Listen to what excellent advice the Bible gives about practicing thankfulness - excellent advice to start and end the day: It is good to give thanks to the Lord; to declare His loving-kindness in the morning and His faithfulness every night.

Can you not be thankful for such perfect advice?

Follow it and see the difference it makes in your life!